As many of you are aware, in the months during and following the sale of the scrap company, I had spiraled deep into the pit of executive burnout. This isn't my first time experiencing this - I'm thinking it's my third time, potentially my fourth, but the "first" time is questionable as there were many other issues involved.
This is, however, the first time I've actually been able to put a name to what it is I'm going through. Before, I just thought I was going nuts or self-sabotaging somehow.
The second time is the first time I'm quite certain that it was burnout. My partner and I had gone from selling a bit of stuff on eBay out of our 1000sqft home, to FILLING that home with stuff to the point of bursting, to moving to a bigger home with a shop where we could process items, with staff, to moving to a city with a warehouse and more staff and being one of Canada's largest Power Sellers.
This was in a matter of a few years. When we go, we go hard. BUT it also hits us hard when everything really begins to wear down on us.
We went and got our commercial trucking licenses and sold the company to an associate.
The third time was about a year into our jaunt into the US as alien entrepreneurs (that was literally our "label" by the US government.) It's funny now to think about it because I thought I had it rough. I had two companies to manage and I could count the staff we employed on both hands. But it's all relative, right?
This time, I was trying to live between two different locations, and manage 8 different companies, half of which didn't even exist 5 years ago, and manage the transition of a company sale at the same time. In my mind, I'm not sure how I was even functioning with all the work I had piled up.
Once the takeover date passed, I went into this kind of... blank state, I guess, where I kind of just gave up. I let stuff slide. I procrastinated. I just didn't care. I didn't have the energy to care. Sure, I was keeping up with the absolutely necessary, but that was only because I didn't want those things to become the responsibility of my Girl Friday.
I've slowly begun to recover and make my way back into the land of the living, but it is a process and it's not easy. There are some days when the burnout flares up and I'm utterly useless, and then there are other days, like today, where I kick ass and take names. Since starting recovery, I've been able to develop processes which have allowed me to delegate some of the tasks that are less important, and I keep looking for more and more ways to make the work/life balance a little more equal.
One of those ways I've managed to help myself is to get back into bullet journalling. Being able to see what's ahead of me, and plan for it is just that sweet spot where I need to be in order to get through all of this successfully.
And maybe, now that I actually recognize what the issue was, I can do better at avoiding another burnout. But... I am me, after all.
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